SHSUEH

Throw up and Christmas Parties - My East Asia post

I’ve been waiting patiently, too patiently, for a time when I could blog about my trip without feeling obligated to do so. It’s 6am, and I’m jetlagged still, so I think this is my opportune moment. I’m going to abstain from checking email, Facebook, and any other web-related stuff…I hope I get some good stuff down!

Well, this journey was an adventure. From the start of month-long support raising to riding on a 14 hour plane rides for the first time with bad food/service/tv (#firstworldproblems). Late night conversations every night, getting sick for a day, and seeing new brothers and sisters…God revealed a lot to me, and then there’s also a lot he didn’t reveal. 

Beginning the support raising process was kind of painful. It was probably my main obstacle from committing to go on the trip right away. I hate asking people for stuff. No matter how you phrase it, my insides feel pinched when I have to ask for stuff…to rely on others…to submit my control. In the end though, going on this trip without spending a dime of my own money was liberating. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Not just the financial freedom, but the freedom of submitting control. I think one night I realized that if I had to pay for the trip myself, I would have felt entitled to something. Let’s say I put in $500, then my gut reaction would have been to expect something worth $500. I might have told God, “Hey I put in some good cash, give me something worth remembering.” This was the benefit of support raising that I didn’t foresee, and God was looking out for me even in that small detail. Of course, there are a million other reasons why support raising is biblical, and I agree. I think everyone should go through it. You start to see into yourself when you’re short on money and God loves to show himself. Thank you everyone who supported me through prayer and finances.

We had a 5-hour layover turn into a 9-hour layover in Los Angelos. It was painful. We played yousef too many times, and we dreaded the 14 hours ahead of us. We also saw another vision trip team from A&M there. 

I loved the 14-hour plane rides. Despite the spontaneous brief feelings of claustrophobia that I had, it was a good chance to…watch some movies!! Reel steel, Contagion, and one other crappy movie. Reel Steel almost made me cry, watch it if you haven’t. Contagion was like the foreshadow of the trip since almost everyone got sick, and the disease originated in Asia (in the movie). It made all of us who watched it paranoid. Anyway, I also got the chance to journal, read, sleep, and listen to music. That’s everything I love doing. I should do it more often. 

Hotels. We got lucky. We didn’t have squatty potties and our rooms were all super nice. There were only 3 of us guys, so me and Ryan shared a bed every night, while Daniel went solo. How lucky…of Ryan to get to sleep with me every night and sit next to me during each plane ride! 

Evangelism was hard. I got really frustrated one time because I couldn’t do anything. I was trying to respond with all my programmed answers, and it just doesn’t work like that. I felt like the conversation was getting deeper and deeper, and at one point, I was trying to translate almost every other word with my iPhone dictionary. It was a slow motion ping pong rally that made me anxious, yet powerless. The language barrier forced me to do what I should have been doing all along - rely on the voice of the Holy Spirit, not on my own. That day revealed a lot to me, and I’m glad it did, because the next day was like a breathe of fresh air. God worked mysteriously among us by pointing us to amazing English speakers, and we had awesome conversations. I wouldn’t have enjoyed this if not for the previous day. By the end of the trip, our team had shared the gospel over 50 times and saw 5 people come to Christ. These students mostly heard the gospel for the first time. One new brother responded to our team with a text saying, “I shared this story tonight with all of my friends but only one believed. I am happy for him. I like the feeling I get when I share this story.” The warmth of hearing the gospel.  

It was my first time to East Asia, so I had a lot to take in. I saw street vendors making delicious food for super cheap, and got the chance to work on haggling with my broken Chinese. The smell of smoke everywhere…no heaters anywhere… fluorescent likes EVERYWHERE…the fascination of mei guo ren. It was nice to see that I looked like everyone else, but then reminded of the Asian-american struggle of not quite fitting in.  

I will spare you all of the day-to-day details. We woke up, did evangelism, ate, slept, talked, debriefed, shopped, walked, got sick, and got haircuts. 

There’s a lot I learned, too. The morning I couldn’t do ministry because I was throwing up was humbling. It was our last day of ministry, the culmination if you will, of our work in EA. The day would be capped off with a Christmas party where we get to share the story, and just meet with our contacts we had made throughout the trip. That day I ended up sleeping in bed all day and battling minor flu symptoms that came out of no where. I felt miserable and at one point, just sitting in the shower floor praying for God to heal me. I was supposed to share my testimony at the Christmas party and was sad that I couldn’t. The next day was when we tracked our conversations from the past day and tallied up 5 new believers. Though I wasn’t able to witness any of them, I knew that God was flexing his muscles. It was a beautiful display of his strength, and I’m thankful that I could witness that. 

Long-term thoughts on EA. To be honest, I didn’t go to EA because I was considering staying in EA long-term. I battled that thought and told myself it was a possibility, but deep down, I think I knew that I was going for something else. Maybe it’s the appearance of availability that I wanted so I could be more likable or interesting. Or maybe I wanted to discover a different kind of vision for myself. I don’t know. Regardless, I think God gave me insight to where my passions were or have been. I do feel called to photography, maybe not for life, but for now and the near future. I have yet to discover what it looks like to integrate that with my heart for Jesus, but I believe it’ll do so in ways that I can’t foresee. On the other hand, if it takes a trip like this to further my heart for God, then I pray that I never stop going. I pray for less compartmentalizing, more initiative, and a greater boldness for God. I also pray that the warmth of the gospel fill me and everyone around me here in the US. 

G’morning!