10 reasons why a fake rapture is good for you and me

in light of the recent hype, i’ve decided to implant this memory into my brain by writing about it. here’s a list of 10 things that stand out to me. if i don’t get to 10, consider me gone. as in, i’ve been raptured. if this has been posted anywhere, there are two possibilities: 1) i posted it from heaven, or 2) someone nearby loves enough to hate to see this post go to waste. so bear with me as i try to think of these 10 things. 

1. it’s profitable. Family Radio, the non-profit responsible for this hype, has reported $13 million in contributions in 2009 alone. In between 2005 and 2009, they have reported about $80 million total in contributions. If you ever need a way to get money, tell people that the world is going to end on a specific day without giving any valid reasoning for it. Also, use bible verses out of context to support your claim, and then when someone questions you, just say, “The bible guarantees it!” and then pound your bible as if it’s just in there somewhere and you don’t have time to go through alllllllll the verses. (source)

2. it’s a good catalyst for other crazy people out there who have dedicated a large portion of their time wondering about the end of the world - and actually are more concerned with staying in this world than leaving it. Take for example: http://www.terravivos.com/ these are underground bunkers that are meant to withstand any sort of nuclear explosion, terrorist attack, apocalypse, etc. If you pay $25,000 you can reserve a spot today! Apparently their sales have increased like crazy lately. I don’t know about you, but if I knew the world was going to end, I would look for other places to invest my money. 

3. it’s fun to say. “the rapture is coming the rapture is coming!” say it enough times and it sounds like “raptor.” where are these raptors coming from? 

4. it makes for a good joke about time-zones. “Well it’s 12am now…must be pacific time! or eastern time! or central time!” i can’t think of any other scenario where this joke is actually funny. 

5. it makes good conversation. “hey, so uh…you hear about the world ending this saturday?” “yup, sure did!” Over the past couple days, i’m pretty sure amidst all the jokes and mocking, there have been at least a couple meaningful conversations that have popped up. In those conversations is a real and genuine thought-sequence, like, “where would I eat my last dinner at?” or “what would you do if these crazy people are actually right?” 

6. a sense of urgency. if you knew the exact date when the world was gonna end, then how many people would you share that news with? well let’s say you knew for sure the exact date and the bible GUARANTEED it. I’d share it with EVERYONE! i have to hand it to those folk at family bible. if they do anything well, it’s instilling a sense of urgency to share the Gospel. What if we lived like the world COULD end tomorrow? would it change the way we viewed our friends? i know it would change mine. maybe we need more fake raptures. at least more realistic ones.*

*side note. i don’t know what’s up with those people, but they need a GRAPHIC DESIGNER or SOMETHING. for people who are passionate about sharing this news, they could at least make it look nice. c’mon…thousands of shirts and signs have gone to waste because now they’re probably going to throw them all away. if they invested in a good graphic designer, they could at least wear these shirts again to laugh and look back on. 

7. heart check. wait…the world is going to end in may? this month? this saturday? hah, that’s funny. well, wait a minute. what if they’re right? what if there is an ounce of truth in their silly claims? no, couldn’t be, that’s silly. wait. am i even ready for this? what if they’re right. if they’re wrong then i can laugh, but if they’re right. well am i ready for that? 

8. heart check part 2. “God, i know this is silly, but, if you’re really coming this saturday, I’m sorry for….everything. amen.” in all seriousness, i think it’s a good reminder that our time is short. we can choose to live for the present, or we can lay our treasures ahead in heaven and live for that. are the decisions we make on this earth Godly reflective of our temporary status on this earth? 

9. brush-up on scripture. “it’s impossible to know the exact time and date the Lord is coming! Matthew 24:36-37! no one will know the hour or day! and don’t forget 1 Thessalonians 5:2! It’ll come like a thief in the night!” i had to google all those verses, and i came across some pretty shady websites. but honestly, it’s going back to the scripture for what it really says that allows us to test these fake prophecies. 

10. 

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