over it
i definitely felt overwhelmed before tonights prayer meeting. i’ve never had so much on my plate, and at one point of overwhelming frustration today, i told myself i just want to quit. is this what it feels like to crack? what if it happens more regularly, and what happens if it starts to make me bitter or angry? i was feeling all that today while stuck in traffic hitting every single red light on the way to target. honestly, i just wanted to yell at the top of my lungs.
some things i’m overwhelmed about:
bills - paying for rent and utilities on my own and working for the first time to accomplish that.
school - it’s my last semester of chinese. i can’t remember a thing. also taking 16 hours, which is actually the most i’ve ever taken. i also can’t drop any because i need to take all 5 classes to graduate.
Day 7 - keeping up with Day 7 on top of school is a lot. by God’s grace, we have a shoot every month, two weddings, and i’m super excited for all of them. however, that means i have to sacrifice several weekends, travel a bit, and manage my time like never before.
Epic - i’ll be leading small group this year along with overseeing the small group committee. first time having this kind of position in epic, so i’m nervous/excited/worried about how it goes. we’re also making a huge effort to get small groups rolling quickly and efficiently. in the past 3-4 years, i don’t think we’ve made such an effort towards small groups. that mean’s we’ll be starting small groups this wednesday, or at least the initial formation of that.
but tonight during prayer meeting i was reminded of what i needed first and foremost: prayer. i need prayer because it shows me who i need, God, and it reminds me of who I am, powerless. of course i’m overwhelmed. if at any point of this semester i start to believe that i can do all this on my own, then i know i’ll start to get overwhelmed. gotta set my head straight and see God through it all. afterwards, i felt an excitement for the upcoming year because i see a group of people who are also excited and committed. i know that God is using so many people and none of it is in MY hands. all in his hands, and all for his glory.
